Happy October!
I graduated from high school in 2012. It’s wild to think that I graduated almost 6 years ago.
I was exactly excited about high school. I didn’t really look forward to anything about high school outside of my friends. I only went to one homecoming dance and that was for my freshman year. I didn’t participate in any clubs, sports or other extracurricular activities. Hell, I can count on one had how many school games I went to—mostly basketball and football—and even then, I didn’t go to watch. I went to see friends, eat nachos and be cute.
So, because of how NOT exciting high school was for me outside of my friends, you can probably guess that my plans for college were just as colorful. Graduation came around and all I wanted to do was enjoy my friend, hang out with friends, get drunk and flirt. I had no college plans, not really. I didn’t know what I wanted to do, but my parents did. My mom just wanted me to go to college because she claims that I would’ve gotten complacent with not doing anything after graduation. My dad suggested I go into the military—something I actually considered for a while. I wanted to join the Navy.
It never happened.
January 2013, I was starting college and I was staying on campus. It was actually exciting, staying away from home and being around my peers all week. A little bit of freedom. Now, my personal life during this time? The pits. It wasn’t as exciting, but that’s not the point. The point is, fast forward to today, after getting more than 60 credits for a degree that I realize I truly do not care for.
I love Psychology. As a tool.
My first love has always been art.
I wanted to go to art school post-high school, but my mom wasn’t very supportive of that. I don’t recall exact words, but I do remember the dismissive tone and the lack of support. She made wanting to go to art school sound like the worst, unproductive thing ever. It didn’t matter if I loved it or not, she was concerned about whether or not it could become a career. It didn’t make me feel very good. So, I chose English as my major. I loved to write, which is still art. I figured it was the closest thing I would get to pleasing my mom and pleasing myself. Then I felt like it was redundant. I write every day—creatively—and I’m going to school for English, not Creative Writing. Just English, like… I could probably be an English teacher one day with that degree. I didn’t care for it. So, I switched to Psychology. Great decision!
But again, here I am, feeling like everything is zipping past me in flashes. I keep becoming connected to extremely creative, imaginative, artistically inclined individuals and I know that it’s the Universe showing that I am completely capable of doing what I love while living my best life—spiritually, emotionally, financially and mentally.
The theme for the month of October will be: DO WHAT YOU WANT.
I’ve been getting signs to just do what I want. I mean, why shouldn’t I? Why should I waste my time doing something because my mom or anybody doesn’t think I should? Why should I let anybody dictate my future when I’m the one who has to live it?
Nothing moved me in my childhood, high school years or college years the way art did. I have always loved art and being creative. I remember my drawings being just a little more advanced that my classmates, even in Pre-K. I kid you not. I still remember being praised for how I drew with just a little more detail than everybody else. I took coloring in the lines very seriously. My love for drawing pictures grew into me drawing out whole books. I would staple or glue pieces of paper together as if it was the bind to a book and show everybody who was willing to look. I eventually upgraded to sketching my favorite singers. I remember sketching the back over of Christina Aguilera’s Stripped album and being so proud of it, barely twelve.
Then I discovered the internet and graphic design! I taught myself how to edit photos and creative pieces featuring my favorite celebrities and a lot of elaborate designs. I even learned how to create websites from scratch.
In the midst of all this visual art, I was creating even more beautiful pictures with words. I loved reading. I loved writing. I loved poetry. I love a good story. I even found a community of people who loved both my words and my graphic designs. It was inspiring, all the time, engaging with that community.
My personal life took a stab at my inspiration and for a while, I didn’t write anything or design any awesome artwork. I was always starting something and not finishing it. I would think of something else and leave the last idea to fend for itself. The last few years, however, my love for creativity has been gnawing at me, urging me to create something and finish it.
So, there comes my poetry book which will be available for preorder soon, then my blog which you’re currently reading, then my YouTube channel (which will have a new video up before next week) and I finally I’ve applied to the art school of my dreams, majoring in Graphic Design. I then plan to go back and major in Creative Writing for Entertainment.
I am stepping out on faith, doing what I want because I can. I do not fear the outcome because I am not attached to the outcome. I am enjoying the now and the journey.
When you do what you know is right for you, you flourish. When you make decisions that align with your highest good and your true desires, you receive abundance in many forms and the Universe supplies with everything you need to navigate your life in the most effective way possible. Imagine living your best life after you stepping out on a limb because you had more faith in your dreams than you had fear in your heart. Imagine living abundantly because you have faith in the fact that you’re always being taken care of. Imagine doing what you love and not worrying about if people understand you.
We always want certain people to support us because to us, it means that what we’re doing is right. Whether that person is your parent, your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife—we always want a specific person to say, “You’re doing great! Keep it up!” to solidify our choices. We always want someone to validate us, when really, we should validate ourselves. We should do what feels great to us. We should do what we want.
With Love,
From Britt
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